Crack, Spoon, Spoon.

How do you eat with those things?

I have to literally unhinge my jaw, so my mouth will open enough. Then, after dinner, I go to the hospital to have it reset.

Cultured Food

How do you eat with those things?

I hire Cambodian children to shovel food into my mouth for me.

Side Effects : Loss of Appetite

How Do You Eat With Those Things?

Well after the accident (that is how my dad refers to it), i was very depressed, so naturally all I eat now is Paxil.

Annoying But Necessary

How do you eat with those things?

I have to take them out for each meal (including midnight snacks and drinks)

A Direct Approach

How do you eat with those things?

Since I can no longer use my mouth, I cut open my stomach and put the food in manually.

I Eat Pi

How Do You Eat With Those Things?

There is a mathematical sequence I use in order to eat. I set up a catapult 13 feet from me, and using a computer and motion captive sensors. After setting the angle at 45.73 degrees, I take a stroll in the marked off area (carefully positioning my mouth) it triggers and what food that was placed on the catapult is forcefully thrown directly into the back of my throat and at such a force i do not even have to swallow, actually it is such a force it digests and disposes of it for me.

NOTE : someone who isn't me should not try walking in front of this device
( a bear once walked by and let's just say it is now deaf )

Special Election Day Coverage!

How do you vote with those things?

I get an ink stamp and push the ball parts of my lip rings firmly into the ink stamp. This allows me to completely rub my face right across the ballot!

I Relate to Ethiopians

How do you eat with those things?

I starve myself